Real life drama. It happens. And we’re talking about it at Mountain Lake Church. No, we’re not talking about The Real Housewives of Atlanta….although that is drama. Over 5 weeks, we’re sharing how to take the drama out of your conflict. In other words, it is possible to have conflict that results in peace rather than pain.
Last week, my husband kicked off the series with the first step in avoiding drama in conflict: focus on God. By focusing on God rather than focusing on what the other person did or didn’t do, we give God the opportunity to change our behavior in the moment…..to change the outcome from DRAMA to PEACE.
This week, Shawn gave us the second step in avoiding drama in conflict: go first. Go first to:
Acknowledge the conflict – Have a conversation with the person. “Hey, you may not realize it, but I sense a distance between us.” “You may not have meant anything by it, but my feelings have been hurt.”
Accept responsibility – Accept our contribution to the problem. Answer questions like: Have I been as good as my word? Have I been guilty of reckless words, gossip, or slander? Have I controlled my anger? Have I hurt or offended anyone?
Avoid blame – Eliminate words like you, your, and yours from your vocabulary in the conversation
Ask for forgiveness – Apologize for any offense you might or might not have intended. Ask for forgiveness.
Allow God to work – Back away! Don’t demand the other person respond in that moment in a way that suits you. Instead, give them a little space and give God the time He needs to speak to their heart.
If when we have conflict, these are the biblical steps to restoring a relationship. And, that’s our goal, isn’t it? To restore peace in our relationships. Who couldn’t use a little more peace in their lives?
What about you today? Are you dealing with conflict that is filling your life with drama? Why not give God’s way of doing things a shot?
Remember, conflict happens. Drama is a choice.