No, I’m not describing my reaction when my hubby walks into the room. (Sorry, babe.) No, that’s my reaction to conflict. When someone rebukes me, betrays me, or attacks me, I have a physiological response….I get feisty. My husband says my feistiness is the spice that has kept our marriage alive for 20 years. But, I digress.
I think most people get a little feisty when conflict comes their way. We talk a little louder, try to prove our point, and fight to be right, don’t we? The result of all that feistiness? DRAMA. We have a verbal showdown that ends with regrettable words….or we ice each other out with the silent treatment. Either way, a slew of emotions swirl in our hearts: anger, bitterness, disappointment, hurt,…..you name it, we experience it.
Yet, for those of us who call ourselves Christians – sons and daughters of God – there is another way to respond to conflict. A better way. God’s way.
You see, in the middle of a heart-pumping moment, our focus tends to be on the other person….what they’ve said or done. But, God teaches us to focus on someone else: Him. If we will, we give God the opportunity to change our behavior in the moment…..to change the outcome from DRAMA to PEACE. Check out a few practical verses:
Eph 4:31-31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Romans 12:18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
James 1:19-21 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.
Colossians 3:12-13 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Conflict and drama. It seems that they go together like peanut butter and jelly. Ahh, but it only seems that way. We have a choice. Choose a better way today….God’s way. And, if you want to learn more of what God teaches regarding conflict and drama, join me at Mountain Lake Church over the next 4 weeks for our Real Life Drama teaching series.