I watch my friends effortlessly push their luxurious locks in their uber cool hats and sport a super cute look. What’s more, they look good when the hat comes off! Not me. If I put on a hat, my fine hair goes limp, loses all volume, and alas, bears a kink where the band of the hat was.
Hat-head. It’s not good. I’m left feeling self-conscious, disheveled, and less than pretty. I need my hair dryer and my trusty round brush to restore the lift to my roots and the shine to my locks.
After being in ministry for nearly 20 years, I can attest to one thing: wearing hats is inevitable for the wife of a pastor. Sometimes we wear a hostess hat and invite people into our homes. Sometimes we wear a director’s hat and coordinate the children’s ministry. We wear a counselor’s hat, an administrator’s hat, a “stand by my man” hat, and a teacher’s hat. Some of us even wear a speaker’s hat, a traveler’s hat, and “she can do it all” hat. (Why do we all try to wear that last one from time to time? Have we no sense?) Oh yeah, then there are the mom hats, chauffeur hats, nurse hats, team mom hats, friend hats, and family budgeter hats that we pull snugly down on our heads.
Oh my. We are hat-wearing freaks.
Although these hats are the metaphorical kind, I still get hat-head. Wearing all of them can leave me feeling frazzled and less than my best. Just recently, my hubby and I were trying to coordinate our rather full calendars, and I found myself trying to figure out how I could be the Cheer Team Mom for one daughter, the taxicab for our other daughter, the babysitter for our youngest, and the ministry partner for my husband….all at 6:30pm on a Wednesday night. It was one of those times that I could feel “hat-head” coming on. I was self-conscious about meeting everyone’s needs and because I couldn’t possibly do it, I was left feeling disheveled.
Thankfully, I’ve been around the ministry block a time or two, so I knew exactly how to respond. I met the most important needs and rescheduled the rest. But, in my early years of ministry, marriage, and motherhood, hat-head often got the best of me. I wish I would have known then that hat-head isn’t so bad.
I wish I would have known those busy seasons would come….and go.
I wish I would have known just how much the people around me needed me to wear those hats.
I wish I would have known to wear a few of those hats with a little more grace.
It turns out that it is possible to wear a few hats and still look good when they come off. The trick? Not wearing too many at once and not for too long. Learning how to wear hats is crucial. So is learning when to hang one up.
In life – and ministry – it’s important that we wear many hats. Work must be done, and we must rise to the occasion. But we don’t have to let hat-head ruin the fun. If you are feeling limp and less than your best, make a plan to wear the right hats at the right times. And look good doing it!
What about you? What strategic adjustments do you take to avoid “hat-head?”