Recently, I talked with a friend whose marriage is ending. She detailed years of up’s and down’s and private heartaches. As she shared her pain, my own heart broke for her….for the changes she’s about to face….for the life she is losing. After years of begging her husband to change – to be more of a partner and seek counseling – she engaged in one last argument with him, and something clicked during their conversation in her heart: her love for her husband ended. It took years to get there, but on this day her breaking point was reached.
Sadly, my friend’s marriage is over.
Our conversation impressed a vital truth in my heart:
We must not be in relationships with others for only what we can get out of it. We must be a GIVER, not just a TAKER.
The old adage is untrue: “Relationships are 50-50.” No, to be sure, healthy relationships – the ones that will last – require both partners to give a full 100 percent to one another. We cannot rely on the work of others; we, too, must be a participating partner. We don’t have the luxury of allowing our spouse to accommodate all of our needs and wants. Instead, we must consistently seek to not only meet their needs, but to work on our own flaws and blind spots.
So, what’s our challenge today? GIVE 100%!
Today, let’s look for ways to give more of ourselves without looking for what we’ll get in return. Let’s engage in our friendships and in our marriages. Let’s seek opportunities to meet needs and support others. And, maybe most importantly, let’s allow God to shape our character so we become humble, serving, encouraging partners in all of our relationships.
We can begin by choosing one way to make someone feel special – a note, a call, a gift. And, we can learn what God has to say about relationships by researching verses on friendship. God has a LOT to say about how to treat others. Let’s spend some time putting His words into practice.
The health and vitality of our relationships, friends, depend on us. No one else.
Luke 6:38 Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full-pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.