I Do Means I Will….

marriageTomorrow night, one of the Pastors at Mountain Lake is tying the knot!  I’ve gotten a sneak peek at the church, and it looks beautiful!  Drew and Meagan will don their fanciest duds and stand in front of family and friends to make their vows, and then we’ll all celebrate with too much food….except for me, who will be watching my calorie intake (the holidays are over, and so is my love affair with fattening foods).

All the work that goes into the Big Day pales in comparison, though, to the work the couple will do over their years of marriage.  Saying “I Do” means saying “I Will” love when I’m angry, forgive when I’m hurt, and apologize in humility. It also means I will find ways to celebrate my spouse, hold up their arms, and bear their burdens.  It means I will be a partner to someone for a lifetime.

So, I’m wondering what advice you would give to the newlyweds?  What have you learned in marriage that might help them?  Serious or funny, what is your best advice for a happy marriage?

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11 thoughts on “I Do Means I Will….

    • Agreed, Diana! Plan how you’ll continue to date each other. Plan how you’ll resolve conflict – set boundaries for fighting fair! Plan how you’ll budget the finances. Sharing expectations for each other will make for a very happy marriage! Thanks!

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  1. Ginny Davis says:

    I am so happy for them! She is very lucky to have so many “seasoned” pastor’s wives to help guide her through what I think is one of the toughest jobs around. One of the main things I learned (the hard way) early on in marriage was that if my husband offered to do something that I would prefer to do (the right way) was to let him do it! Then step back, bite your tongue and restrain yourself from criticizing or re-doing the task. Thank him and let him know how much he is appreciated. Men take a lot of pride in doing things for their wives but if rebuked too many times, they will give up and leave all the work to you. Once you have kids, little things that you thought were so important at the beginning of your marriage will be a non-issue. Having a husband who is willing to step in and do anything you can do for your babies is priceless. Men are wired to solve problems. Let them and give praise without hesitation!

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  2. Melissa says:

    have lots of babies. Lots and lots of Christian babies. Don’t wait ~ life passes by before you know it and less important things will fill the gap if you let it, but nothing is more fulfilling than children. Modern culture says women should have career first, then children, but they’ve got it backwards!

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  3. I would tell a newlywed couple that to make a plan for conflict. My husband and I had such a hard time during our first year because we didn’t know how to disagree with kindness and respect. So now we have a clear plan of attack when we feel things are getting heated. We practice “tableling” issues because not every single disagreement needs to be hashed out right that second. We’ve learned to table an issue, come back when we’re calmer and not so emotionally invested in “winning”, and then discuss the issue. Most times the issue is resolved within a day, but the best part about this practice is both of our hearts are protected from words spoken in anger. Also, we don’t discuss hot topics after 9pm. At the end of our day, we’re more prone to react poorly just out of sheer exhaustion so we protect each other by scheduling hot topic conversations to a time where we’re both fresh. The final thing would be to be realistic about their sex lives– just because you’re able to have it once you get married, doesn’t mean it’s going to awesomest thing ever! Give yourselves time to get used to each other, grace when things are tricky, and a sense of humor to have to just enjoy each other.

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  4. Tricia,

    No one walks down the aisle thinking about the arguments or trials that they will experience in the future. Euphoria has them believing that everything will always be wonderful. Unfortunately, trials will come and when we are in the midst of a trial, we can fall into the trap of believing that it’s never going to get better. During a trial we also may be tempted to give what we are getting rather than to give what we want to receive. Returning evil for evil just keeps the cycle going, but returning evil with good overcomes the evil. (Romans 12:21). So, my advice is to remember the Golden Rule and remember that it’s temporary.

    Have a Victorious Day!
    Marianne

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