Sometimes I surf. Not the waves of the Atlantic, but the pages of Facebook (FB). I’ll scroll through my home page, click on an interesting status update, read through the comments, then click on someone’s name to glance at their profile page, click on a great picture, view its comments, then click on someone’s name…..
You get the idea. You’ve done it, too.
So the other day the wave I was riding landed me on the FB page of middle schooler that I know. Great kid from a fabulous family. What caught my attention wasn’t something he posted, but the comments from other people who had written on his FB wall. More to the point, the comments girls had made on his wall.
Girls told him he was cute and funny. Girls invited him to call them….anytime. Girls questioned why he didn’t text them more often. Girls posted their phone numbers. And girls rated his hotness.
Now I’m a pretty cool chick. At least I think so. I’m a modern girl who asserts herself and has opinions. But, for all my modernity, those comments didn’t sit well with me. Those comments – from very young middle school girls - were aggressive, to say the least. I found myself wondering what would drive a 13-year-old girl to need – literally beg – for attention from boys?
I’m not the only one, either. Later in the week, I was talking with this boy’s mom about the things we read on FB. She said the aggressiveness doesn’t end with comments on a social site. She said girls call her house to talk to her son….often. Her solution: nip it in the bud. She tells the girls to stop calling!
So, maybe my friend and I are old-fashioned. Maybe our “mom-ometer” is too revved up, and we’re out of touch with today’s culture. Maybe we don’t know what really works in today’s culture.
Ahhh, not so fast.
Today, the same topic came up at the orthodontist. Two men in the room – well dressed, sharp guys – brought up the subject and began sharing how unattractive it was to see young girls be overly aggressive in that way. They talked about the things girls say to their sons. One of the men even shared a story of a girl’s mom asking him for his 11-year-old son’s phone number! YIKES!
As parents, we have so much to protect our kids from, not the least of which is seeking attention in the wrong ways. Spend some time talking to your kids about what you think is appropriate….and what isn’t. And, maybe you should do a little FB surfing to see what kind of culture our kids face when they leave our houses.
Parents, our kids need our coaching and influence because the waves of bad decisions and peer pressure are crashing down all around them. Don’t let the undertow pull them out too far. Teach them how stay where the water is safe and the waves are manageable!